Big Things. Americans like big things. I know because commercials keep telling me so. Big cars, big houses, big breasts, and big egos. It's amazing that everything even remotely involved in american culture seems to inflate almost instantly on contact. American society is a big, scary, nasty, dangerous, sponge animal pill. Just add anything, we'll soak it up and add it to our bloated form. Integrate, Imitate, Inflate. We spend a fair chunk of childhood herded into dilapidated buildings to listen to big old men and women tell us big lies about the big dreams the founders had for our country. A Big Experiment. A big fight leads to a big idea. A whole bunch of big idiots with big guns cause a big slaughter after two guys take a big trip out west. Shortly after, a couple huge companies rake in ridiculous amounts of money building really long railroads over vast tracts of land. Some more gigantic losses of life happen somewhere in here. A titanic boat sinks, a large zepplin explodes. Alot of tall buildings go up. The biggest damn explosion man ever created causes massive panic and prompts alot of gargantuan wastes of resources in a big "race." A big star takes a bullet while waving from the back of a galactic-sized convetible. A big Texan takes his place and starts dropping gobs of immense bombs on a tiny country with tremendous problems. The world's most expensive trip brings back some little moon rocks and everyone makes a big deal. The world's largest population says hello to Nixon. Nixon makes a big mistake. Nothing happens for awhile. Bored, Communism livens up the party and collapses. Bigtime. There's a big fuss in the desert with some more of those big guns. Alot of major freaks start to believe in vast conspiracies. All the monster conglomerates begin conglomerating some more. And here we are, a broad spectrum of excessive, consumptive, short-sighted, swarming apes with big worries and (mostly) fat bank accounts. The only things getting smaller are computers, IQs, and dreams.
Rather than attempt to explain or fight this process NODATA is aspiring to attain bigness. We want to illuminate the masses to the point that multiple governments are interested in our internal workings. We intend to have syndromes, phenomena, offices of state, streets, mass media outlets, and action figures named after us and our organization. It's not a bad plan, it's big and complicated, so it's likely to work. We've begun already with a regimen of thinking large, we wear big pants, we make big messes, we eat alot in order to force our very physical being to outwardly portray our obsession with mass. After we gain enough to reach the next threshold we reach the really fun part: INERTIA. Once we're that large we shall be largely unstoppable. It's really pointless to continue resisting at this point, dissidents will be dealt with through extensive PR. Poor souls. Once the outcry of the doomed ends we begin our 5 year plans. Uncle Joe tried it out but he had it all wrong. We have refined the idea and retro-fitted it for proper implementation in the modern world. Just wait until you see the bit with the clones...
Word. Big fat clones in robot suits with laser pointers to blind the wrestlers of the world and hair like a bad TV weatherman. The population of the world must tremble before the nightmare vision we will offer. Fifty foot tall mylar balloons of Stone Phillips in traditional African Pygmy regalia will be tethered at every major intersection to affect the type of numbed daily drudgery we require to get a really good mob rule going. Public tansportation will be manned by at least one Zither musician at all times. Love will rule the world. We will live large. Angels will come down from on high to bestow upon each of our huddled souls the adulations of those who went before us and all will be as a Levi's commercial. And on Judgement Day we will all go happily into oblivion, cradled by our low-back bucket seats, and held gently by three point restraints (Adjustable for Height).