No one knows anyone, what's the point anyway?
This evening between showings of footage of exploding russian rocketry I happened to catch a program chronicalling the mission of one man to take pictures of "killer pigs" in a rainforest in Bolivia. While a small platoon of hired natives ran around barefoot in the jungle carrying his equipment, tracking his quarry, and acting as guides without complaint or apparent discomfort, this man took every opportunity to complain about the conditions of his environment and how it inconvenienced him.

I am not sure if this was a veiled attempt to defeat a perceived threat to his job, as though massive waves of people would take up professional wildlife photography if he portrayed himself as content, or if he was just an asshole. I am inclined to think the latter is the case. The Law of Averages clearly states that if the subject is a) an American and b) is old enough to walk on his own, then that subject is almost assuredly a major puckered leather starfish, pulsing and throbbing through life just waiting to spew a load on anyone who gets too close.

I also happened across some filler in Wired magazine that gave me another lame idea to try out. Starting April 15th, 2000 NODATA will officially secede from the United States, and any and all subdivisions thereof. If you would like to be a citizen, mail for test and application to